„Would you, please, fix them?” (2)

Would you please fix them 2

Coaching – one of the most unpredictable trades in the world. Coaching – one of the “riskiest” jobs in the world for both the coach and the coachee. Coaching – one of the most fulfilling activities in the world.

I was speaking in the first part of this article about the need for clarity in deciding whether you want such a mission, and if the answer is yes, you need clarity in understanding the payer company) and coachee.

I have something else to say about the first part, because I was at first naive to accept without any effort to take over the assignment. Understanding came with experience. Sometimes behind this request is hidden their top executives’ own helplessness accompanied by the pride of the final decision-maker. It’s hard to accept that he cannot or does not know. And one wants to escape quickly.

It happened, however, at least once that the decision maker needed the coach’s determination to stay with the decision-maker in this process of finding solutions. The question that opened this window of opportunity was:

–        Suppose the program works well and the manager is „repaired,” which will make you different in relation to it?

After the usual blame games, I give a little help:

–        It is clear to me that when the person does things the way you expect, you cannot act like you are with him now. You’re going to change something, maybe not something important, maybe not much, but something … What exactly?

Quiet. There was a lot of quiet in the office, only the noise of the street beyond the big windows is heard. Slightly hoarse, like,

–        Well, I could … (and I could not stop him for about 10 minutes: he started to remember that it was not always like that, that he impressed him in certain situations, etc. – a lot of resources).

What was I witnessing? How the final decision maker builds bridges. And he followed:

–        Does the person know all this? Did you tell them?

–        He should have, right?

–        Do you know what to do?

We broke up hitting success. There was no need for coaching services. The final decree took the step and regained a very good and valuable colleague. It does not happen all the time.

About quietness – it is so important to know how to keep your mouth shut when the one in front tries to get out of its own traps or just builds a solution. Peter Szabo, my career initiator, on one of my learning trips, told me:

–        Before opening his mouth, counts to 10.

–        And if I cannot help but start talking, what am I doing?

–        You count once again.

Quietness is one of the most powerful techniques in coaching. It creates space, leaves room for clarification.

Now, after reviewing these things, you need to determine if you’re working with your coach alone, and together with the decision maker you build a coaching relationship in three.

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